Sunday, August 9, 2015

The brief, shining moment of Homemade Baby Wipes

Baby wipes...not too expensive, immensely useful. One drawback - leaving the house to buy them. I *could* order them online, but that requires forethought. Forethought requires a certain level of mental capacity which in turn requires sleep. Sleep? What's that? Never heard of it. Nix the idea of ordering online. My amazon prime baby wipes would be gently drifting in the breeze as they were being droned in, and I'd be holding my squirming baby's butt under the faucet because I forgot to re-order in time. Baby bidet? Not as posh as it sounds.

That leads us back to the idea of making them at home. My personal saga can be broken down into:
Baby Wipes 1.0
Baby Wipes 2.0 - The Oops Version
Baby Wipes 3.0, Beta

The first generation required me to cut a roll of paper towels in half. Maybe if I had a LASER. Bread knife? Horrible decision. There was paper towel fluff everywhere. I may have paper towel fluff blanketing the inside of my lungs at this point. Chef's knife? Carpal Tunnel, for sure. HATCHET? I didn't try it, but let me know if it works. Once I had technically separated the paper towel roll into two pieces, the rest of the process went fairly smoothly. The instructions I was using called for 2 cups of boiled water, 2 Tbs of Baby Wash and 2 Tbs of Coconut Oil. Smoosh the paper towel roll into a plastic wipes container, pour over mixture, let sit. Pull out paper towel roll, smoosh more. It worked. Waaaaay too much liquid, but my baby's butt got a mini bath at every changing. Not really a bad thing.

Second generation, oops version. I unrolled the paper towels this time and cut the stacks in half with scissors. More time consuming, but more lung-friendly. I decided to reduce the liquid by half, which would have worked BEAUTIFULLY, except for the fact that I was "free pouring" the coconut oil from the jar. Went something like this: "oh that's good...maybe just a little bit more. Okay, tiiiiiny bit more. Okay, last drop, PLOP. OH GOD FISH IT OUT FISH IT OUT!" Needless to say, it came out extra coconutty. Also, not really a bad thing. 

Third generation is in beta because I haven't actually *made* them yet. I'm planning on using baby washcloths instead of paper towels. I don't want to have to go to the store for paper towels any more than I do baby wipes. If I start to run out of these, I can always do a load of laundry. And if I run out of laundry detergent? We already know how to deal with THAT. Ha. ha. ha.

Why are there no pictures? I did not document the process for a couple of reasons. A) I did not know at the time I'd be blogging again. B) It was VERY spur of the moment (uh oh, ran out of Huggies. Store, or try out that Pinterest thing I saw?) I also cannot take a picture of the finished product because the baby pooped in the wipes container. Yep. For the uninitiated, breastmilk poo is....projectile. Kind of like the excorcist, but from the other end. It can be scary. I am usually prepared for these events, but this one was special. It had an arc to it. The trajectory was perfect. The wipes went before their time.

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